Wind and Rain
by DenizenofTwilight
Summary: Something that was never supposed to happen occurred when Sora became a Xehanort. And though Kairi knows Xehanort—Sora—is going to try and kill her to cast the world to shadows, she can't help but look at her and Sora's shared past together and reflect. Can they get through this? Kairi tries to hold onto hope, but as even the wind—Sora—whips at her form, it's hard to have faith.


**Author's Note: I'm breaking one canon thing in this, and am instead going for the manga version. Basically? In that version, Kairi is still with Sora when he seals the Hollow Bastion Keyhole, converses with the Princesses and the Restoration Committee, gets her lucky charm, etc.**

**Also, this story is about the KH timeline getting messed up through Xehanort's time traveling, in some ways. This actually isn't the "canon" timeline, and is the timeline that might have occurred if Sora had become a Darkness. Hopefully that'll clear some things up for you guys.**

**Speaking of "timelines". The italicized sections are actually the present this time, and the regular text is the events that led up to everything (most of them, anyway). So helpfully that helps you all!**

**And some of the "bad writing" in this, and scenery deprivation, is actually done on purpose. It's meant to show the characters falling apart at the seams. So, yeah.**

**Enjoy, I hope?**

**Wind and Rain **

**Kairi's Point of View**

_Red hair cascaded over Kairi's shoulders, as the wind played at her auburn locks. To that end, it was almost strange to the girl that she could see things so clearly with her hair covering her eyes, but it was what it was. _

_In a way, as her darkened strands obstructed her gaze, she thought she was somehow being protected from the worldview in front of her. The awful, awful world she'd been born into, but had just noted the awfulness of. Her hollow gaze sweeping over the small lunch area around her, Kairi had to wonder what the wind was playing with the most: her body that was about to be swept up into a swirling vortex, or the tables, chairs, and McDonald's bags twirling with the force._

"_Sora…" Clapping a hand over her mouth, long before she even uttered the inconsequential syllable from her lips, Kairi was already falling to her knees and choking out sobs. In fact, as her long red hair about strangled her due to her motion and the whipping wind, Kairi almost wondered if it all would just be better if she died. Even the pain of her sore throat had nothing on the pain going on in her heart. _

_As the tan of the area became obstructed by Kairi's tears (tears. Huh… it was like the time she'd seen Sora's drawing in the secret place, wasn't it?), all Kairi could do was completely fall to the ground and writhe in pain, as she wondered just how it had gone so wrong. She remembered well how it had begun… and though she really should have suspected things then, and hated every moment of that cursed time because of her oversight, Kairi found she couldn't do it. _

_Instead, she focused on the happiest time of her life, and could almost imagine her own violet eyes beginning to blacken. Alone, cold, and in the rain, Kairi waited for the person who was coming to kill her. She knew he'd come, and he did._ Sora…

…

Summoning Destiny's Embrace into her hands with a bit of effort, Kairi found herself jumping from platform to platform, as she tried in vain to better her fighting. Though this obstacle was as vigorous as all of the other ones Yen Sid had ever set up, Kairi was still able to hold onto hope of success for one reason: she remembered something from when she'd been younger.

She remembered how she'd excitedly explored the third district of Traverse Town and had come across the door to Merlin's place. After that, she had hopped across the moving stones that led to his home very carefully (falling into the water quite a few times, as she continued to accidentally rip her skort and such things); eventually she found herself stumbling into Merlin's little cottage, and even sooner she'd found the way to the underwater cavern:

The cavern where she ended up conversing with Sora, and giving him her lucky charm. It was one of her happiest—yet also bittersweet—moments. As such, she focused on the memory now, and if she could just leap a little bit more just there, then she could- Yes! She was doing it! She was jumping as well as she'd ever seen Sora and Riku do. Granted, her hair was serving to get in her way (she even stepped on some of it during one particular jump), but she was excelling all the more through it, so… maybe if she kept this up, and Sora kept cheering for her as kindly as he was… maybe she'd stand a chance against Xehanort, after all!

"I think that's enough training for one day, Yen Sid. Why don't you dispel the illusion and bring my Kairi back to me?" Giggling slightly at Donald's squawk for Sora addressing Yen Sid so disrespectfully, Kairi almost wondered if Donald would use his own brand of magic to keep her trapped in the faux-foggy area, just to rile Sora up.

In all honesty, Kairi wouldn't have put it passed an enraged Donald to do such a thing, but as she was a Princess of Heart and chose to believe in people always, as kindly as she could, she muttered, "Yeah, can someone please get me down from here? I may have succeeded in not looking down before, but now… yeah. Even though I know I'm not really walking on clouds, I'm still freaked out I'm gonna fall through 'them'. Umm…"

"I've got you, Kairi. Graviga!"

"Eep!" As a whirling mass of Darkness (well, what looked like Darkness, anyway), suddenly swooped over Kairi, and blackened the fake sky she was already scared of, the young girl's first response was to shriek in terror at the mass over her, and reach for Sora wherever he was "invisible" beside her (even going as far as to forget he'd just more or less called her a trophy).

Fortunately for her, though, Sora's spell did seem to take the illusion away, and before Kairi knew it, she was back in Yen Sid's tower with everyone else, and amazingly in Sora's arms. When the heck had that happened?, Kairi wondered.

Shaking her head to rid it of the thought, Kairi was surprised when she noted just how far away Sora's face was from hers. He sure was growing tall, but that just made his lips in better proximity for kissing, didn't it? And Kairi did have to admit that Sora was looking more and more dashing everyday… and that it was romantic to have him hold her like this. Before, when they'd been growing up on the Island, Kairi never would have dreamed he had the strength to show off his strength in such a way. Perhaps his attempts to be more like Riku were working better than she'd thought they would?

"Sora, you're not focusing are you? Dang it! Everyone hit the deck! That Gravity spell hanging over Yen Sid is about to go haywire!"

"Wait a second! Isn't Lea still in a dimension close to where Yen Sid is? We have to get him out of there!" As worry for her new friend clawed at Kairi's heart, she inevitably forgot, like Riku had, that Yen Sid more than likely had the situation well under control, and thus she ran to the aged sorcerer and gripped his arm. As she begged him to save Lea, Kairi completely missed how Sora was eying the object of his own making with trepidation, and Darkness reflected in his eyes. "Please, Master! If this is going to be as bad as Riku hinted at-"

"Kairi, watch it! Would ya?" Slumping against Sora's arms again (as he must have woken from his stupor and was now capable of cradling her in his arms again), Kairi tried to make it known how worried she was about Lea, but the sudden inclusion _of_ Lea in the room was enough to remind her of just how silly she was being.

Now leaning her face against Sora's chest, as he wrapped his arms around her, Kairi found the only thing she was capable of was looking down in embarrassment. Some Keyblade wielder she was turning out to be! Somehow, some way, she knew Yen Sid had been testing her, but how or why she had no idea. Even so, she knew she'd failed.

Really, though! Just what had she been thinking in worrying about Lea?! He was more than capable of taking care of himself, after all. And he had demonstrated such a thing well enough when he'd kidnapped her, befor- before…

Storming out of the room not in anger, but rather in tears, Kairi found she felt horrible about so many things. In fact, if it was her guilt that Yen Sid had been testing (and for all she knew, maybe it was), she knew she'd aced _that_ test with flying colors. It was just… it was just that Kairi knew she'd always be a failure who dragged others into messes. Hadn't, after all, Axel's own destruction been caused in a roundabout way because of his kidnapping her? Sure it might have all worked out in the end, but that didn't mean that Axel err, Lea's, blood was any less on her hands. Going further than that, she'd even ripped Naminé from the world, and was the reason Xehanort had been able to get to R-R-i-iku and… dear, dear Sora.

As she walked down the tears in a sort of stupor, Kairi couldn't help the onslaught of tears that fell down her cheeks, nor could she stop from scrubbing at the evidence of them on her cheeks. She just felt so, so horrible.

Opening one of Yen Sid's doors just to be painted in an array of green with gold stars, Kairi hoped that, for the moment at least, Sora would be unable to find her in the labyrinth. After all, foresight was prickling at the back of her mind, and she knew that something terrible was going to happen, and it would be all her fault again.

Down the hall, even with the miles of space between them, Kairi could still hear Sora pounding on the tables, and yelling as angrily as she'd ever heard him, "Why'd we have to test her Princess of Heart status?! As if she could lose that! And now look at what's happened! She's probably reading herself the riot act. And I can't allow that. _I can't allow that_…"

…

A couple of hours later, with most of the day's events forgotten, Kairi was sitting with Sora in what was apparently dubbed the "Unbirthday Room" in Wonderland. Though they'd, technically, broken Yen Sid's rules about taking Kairi out in the field to help secure the other Princesses, Kairi had to admit it had been a good decision. After all, she was having more fun with Sora than she ever could have imagined. Especially since the worlds were hanging precariously on the edge of a knife because of Xehanort's interferences...

Even so, there was something positively delightful about sitting in different, odd chairs only to have them tip backwards and give her munny! Clinking glasses with Sora, as they downed one bubbly drink after another, Kairi knew that this was not how she'd ever imagined her first date, but she also wouldn't object.

Settling into her current, large pink chair comfortably, Kairi related her current thoughts to Sora, as she stretched her hand out for him to hold. "This is so interesting," Kairi remarked, as she found herself folding a hand under her chin similarly to how Riku did (maybe Sora wasn't the only one who was trying to be like Riku now, huh?). "I mean, even just going to worlds like Traverse Town and my Radiant Garden made it clear that our world wasn't the most advanced, but I didn't know that qualified for chairs, too!"

"You'd better be careful, Kai. In this world, you never know what'll happen next. In fact, it wouldn't even surprise me if that chair ended up turning into a long slide or something. Maybe that's why we don't have anything like it in our world!"

Rolling her eyes slightly at that, Kairi thought about meeting Sora's response with a cheeky comment of her own. Such words that danced around in her head were things like, "Well, we most be safe here, then! Like Xehanort would ever come to a fun world like this!"

Instead of saying something that ridiculous, though (or more accurately, because she didn't want to talk about Xehanort, when it was her fault for putting Sora and Riku on his radar), she instead said, "I'm glad to see you like this again, Sora. I think it's been too long since we could just laugh at the world, and not have to worry we're going to alter it because of that."

In the end, the response Kairi had been expecting didn't come. All she'd been doing was poking fun at how Sora had once told her that Alice controlled this certain world, and maybe even hinting that her chair might turn into the pink drink Sora was gulping down (though she doubted her lazy bum Sora would have picked up on _that_ notion).

Instead of getting a "random Sora comment" coming, though (something Kairi was more than accustom with), she instead felt Sora finally closing his fingers around hers sharply, and talking as chillily as Kairi'd ever heard him, "Can I tell you a secret, Kai?"

"Of course, Sora," Kairi answered immediately, wondering if and praying that she'd imagined the glint of gold in his eyes.

Even though it was a ridiculous reaction, especially from someone like her, Kairi couldn't help the tears that welled up in her eyes, and slid between her fingers like crystalline diamonds, as she gasped in shaking breaths. Somehow without fully being aware of everything, she knew what Sora was about to say. He was going to relate when he'd almost been a Xehanort… it had- it had left traces on him, hadn't it?

Backing up slightly towards the almost slanted house behind her, Kairi willed herself to remember that it was Sora—her Sora—standing in front of her and reaching for her. Not Xehanort. _Not Xehanort_… But why, then, were his eyes gold? And even worse than that: why were they a more metallic shade than even his Anti-Form's? Sora, was he-

And even worse than what she was realizing now, Kairi knew she could have helped him! If she'd gone with him for his stupid Mark of Mastery exam, she could have pulled his heart out of the Darkness with her Ligh-

"No. C'mon, Kairi. Please don't be scared. Don't you be scared of me."

Unbeknownst to Kairi, twilight was falling heavy on the land of wonder in such a way it didn't in even Traverse Town. As Naminé recoiled within her and Kairi's shared mind, Kairi saw it for a moment: just how this sundown was different from the perpetual burg's. This world's sun was peaking out the slightest bit, and warming Kairi with its rays even more thoroughly than the bright shining sun had ever done.

She wondered fearfully what might happen when the sun disappeared all together, and it was sure to. Such a thing as the sun setting was as knowable as Kairi's love for Sora being more boundless than even the ocean. So why, then, was she turning away from him when he needed her most? No. She couldn't do this to Sora! Not when she'd already forsaken him to his travels.

Standing on her tiptoes just so she could see the dejected look on Sora's face better (the look she'd caused), Kairi was hit with a strange bit of mirth and hope that she'd never known. Arching her back upwards a bit (so that she could reach even closer to the landing right above the weird room behind her), Kairi tried to come up with a reason to get Sora to lead her up there now. She wasn't done exploring, after all. And she needed to find a way to distract him.

But even more importantly… she needed to distance herself from the sixth sense that was painting her a warning of danger. The danger that was her Sora.

Still, even with all that she was now realizing, there was no other response for Kairi in the world, than to extend her hand along the bottom of Sora's eyes, and promise him in hushed voices that she wouldn't betray him.

She could only hope she wouldn't betray anyone else by doing this.

"Shh. It's okay. I won't tell anyone about this, if that's what you like. But maybe I can still help you some?"

To that, and her too wide grin (a grin that Kairi was trying to desperately emulate of Sora's), Kairi felt Sora chuckle against her, as he moved his hands to once again wrap around her waist.

As Sora cradled his chin atop Kairi's head, Kairi didn't think she'd ever known more peace than what she did in that moment. That moment when the last of the light faded away, and she still felt as safe and secure in Sora's arms as she always had. When she felt as okay in the _Darkness_ as she ever had.

And even though Kairi had originally been averse to Sora no longer wearing his silly, half jackets, she did have to revel in the feel of his muscular arms: something a lack of a jacket allowed her the presence of.

In fact, the shirt he was wearing now was an even deeper black than Sora's other clothes. Perhaps because of the contrast? Kairi couldn't have been sure of the fact, as she'd never had a great love for colors (they got as lost in her hair as they did black), but the idea seemed right to her. Or so she hoped.

After all, it made no sense to think Sora was becoming Darker because his top was so black, right? That couldn't mean anything, Kairi assured herself, as Sora began humming through his lips to entertain her.

Laughing slightly at that, Kairi remembered well when Snow White had taught them to whistle while they worked, before they'd left Hollow Bastion that first time. It had been a fun tune to learn, and so it had been an easy thing for Kairi to want to emulate the other princesses' singing, just so she could be more like them and say goodbye to Sora easier.

Sora, then, perhaps noticing her downtrodden attitude, and that she didn't fit there even as much as he didn't, had opted to meet the whole thing in the middle. He didn't sing the dwarf tune (though Sora was more than capable of singing), and instead hummed it through his teeth, even though he was also capable of whistling. Kairi… Kairi had never laughed so much in her life than at his faux-whistling then, and if it had been a nice thing to her; it was even more so now, as she stayed in the darkness with Sora. Waiting, hoping, and praying for something she didn't know to come.

…

_"Sora, please don't do this! Please! This isn't you. This isn't-"_

_As Sora began lifting Kairi up off her feet, and strangling her the way the girl could only assume Terra once had Aqua, it was almost too easy to say that all hope was lost. Yes, it_ _was far too plausible to give up, wasn't it? But that was also the reason she couldn't do just that, because forever and always, Kairi would be one to act with her heart instead of her brain, and such a thought wouldn't change now. She just had to find a way to escape somehow-_

_Yes, that was it! Realizing suddenly that she only had one chance to get away, and just what it was, Kairi stopped her vain attempts to wriggle free of Sora's—Xehanort's—grasp, and instead focused on a technique she'd learned with her Keyblade. Granted, it was already in her hand, and she couldn't move her arms at the moment, but… but if she could just dismiss her Destiny's Embrace—yes, just like that!—she could summon it back to her in another place. _

_Focusing on that idea, Kairi bid herself to concentrate, and not think on her crushing windpipe. Just when she thought she was about to lose consciousness (and who knew what else?), Kairi's Keyblade finally faded out of her hands, and flared back to life where Sora's own neck was. Granted, as Sora stumbled backwards, it left Kairi's Keyblade too close to where Sora was for Kairi's comfort, but it also served in saving her life. But… but had it cost her Sora's? _

_Peering down at the boy below her with tears staining her vision, or maybe it was the rain; Kairi didn't know anymore, she wondered how it had come to this. How had someone as ordinary, and untrained as her managed to almost fire her Keyblade in a way one might fire a gun accidentally, when the safety was off? As Kairi mulled it all over, staring down at her lover (and for a moment lost all sanity, and forgot how much the worlds needed her,) and thought about joining him, Kairi found she remembered once what Aqua had told her about Shotlocks._

_As resentment made its way in Kairi's heart, and made her curse ever meeting the blue haired maiden, Kairi found herself getting lost in a blue of another kind. The blue of Sora's eyes, as the life slowly drained from them, and the gold left them all together. What was even worse, though, was that Sora wasn't looking back at her like he felt betrayed at all. Rather, he was looking at her relieved. He was looking at her like he loved her, maybe even moreso than he had during their Wonderland detour. _

_Sora… how could she have done this to- Why were the worlds so- Xehanort had been supposedly dead, and now… now Sora was the last Xehanort, and Kairi knew she had to finally finish the job. Surely it would be a better death than what he was having now, with his blood gushing out of his throat to stain his fingers her hair color. Surely it would be okay to say goodbye to Sora now, right? _

_Alas, fate had never smiled down on Kairi and her friends. Nor would it do so now. With one last glint in his eyes, Sora summoned Kingdom Key to his hands, and angled the Keyblade at her face like a canon. Funny, seeing as how she was just thinking about the Shotlock Commands._

"_Does it hurt you, girl? Does it hurt to know he was originally down on the ground like this when I crippled him during his little exam? If you'd been there for him then, you might have been able to save him. And you might have been able to do so now, if you weren't so incapable."_

_Somehow, someway, it was that right there that had done it. Falling down to her knees in a fit of despair Kairi had never known (not even when she was little, and she'd been told she had to be taken away from Sora to be studied; she was an outsider, after all), she grabbed onto Sora's hand just hoping to find something, anything, of the boy she loved there. Looking far away from his eyes and his deeply torn throat (Kairi dared not give Xehanort the satisfaction), she turned Sora's palm this way and that looking for some life in where they touched. The life that was always in his hand when they were together. _

"You know, Kairi. I'm glad you took your charm back. I think it was messing with my equilibrium in battle. In fact, it even fell in the water back ther-"

"_No!" As quick as someone's breath dissipated after they'd spoken out against the cold, Kairi found that Sora's voice was already soaring up and leaving her. It was like that one time she hadn't wanted to remember before. The times of her loneliness on the Island when Sora and Riku were away. Such a thing had seemed like torture to her before, but it was nothing compared to what Kairi was undergoing now. Why had she ever thought it was a good idea to fight?! _

_Digging her hands into her hair—her scalp—as insanity hit her, Kairi knew that she was staining her own hands scarlet, but she couldn't find it in her to care. Instead, she thought it only fitting they end this way. She'd painted the ground with her Sora's blood, so it was only fair she meet him the same way. It was almost poetic, even. It was just desserts that she was meeting the same end by her own hand, too. _

"_Sora, I'm so sorry. I never should have approached Riku or you. Aqua should have never put that spell on me. Then we wouldn't have had this, our love, but it would have been worth it, because you would have been alive. I'm so sorry! So sorry that even before this, you were already dead. Your will was gone because of your eventual love for me, and I never got to tell you, I never got to tell you that- And even if I had told you back then, the words would have belonged to Xehanort, not you. And it makes me sick! But it also gives me an odd sense of relief that at least I hinted at the words, so maybe-"_

_As boneless and dry as what Kairi had once imagined an empty shell without a Soul to be (before she'd met the Nobodies), a quiet and weak voice broke through the stilled silence. And almost as vacant as the town, which housed the tumbleweed, the voice said, "Kairi, you have to stop. You're doing that thing again where you panic, and you can't do that. Shh. You did what any of us would have. More, even. So hush now, baby. Hush. I'm giving you even more than the heartbeat you wanted, so give me this now. Give me this now..."_

_Almost consciously (because she could no longer be conscious—alive—now. Not now. Not after…), Kairi felt a gentle hand cradling her face. At once, she wanted to scream and riot, for surely Xehanort was just messing with her, but the moment she saw the wisp of Sora's white fingers (fingers he'd stained white with flour one time, to help her bake), Kairi knew for sure that it was her Sora holding her, and talking as calmly to her as he was now. _

_Somehow, he'd come from the grave to give her this moment (even painting his fingers a certain way, so Kairi would know for sure it was him), and she wasn't going to miss this moment. She wasn't going to deny the spray of sea and air that his simple voice and words imprinted on her, almost enough to give her life again. _

_And with eyes opened, mystified, and as Light and alive as she'd probably ever been, Kairi said one word._ "Sora."

…

**Sora's Point of View**

Sora blinked once, twice, three times as he realized slowly and deliberately that it was Kairi's foundation makeup on Yen Sid's mirror. Past his original idea that it had been chocolate, Sora's first horrified imagining had been that his eyes were turning gold again, but thankfully it only seemed to be some of Kairi's liquid makeup and powder, if he was looking at it right.

Sighing to himself, as he took to smoothing _some_ of his hair down (this was a big day, after all. Lea and Kairi were officially getting the Sorcerer's permission to fight in the Keyblade War), Sora found that he'd never been happier to see Kairi's makeup before him. Not that she needed it, of course! Quite to the contrary, Sora had many times tried to get Kairi to go swimming with them, so she wouldn't weak makeup and would, therefore, be acknowledging her natural beauty, but… well, Sora was just dang happy that his eyes weren't gold.

Even more than that, though, this stain was evidence that Kairi was alive and well. And with that evidence staring him directly in the face, he could easily welcome the other outcomes. Easily. Just so long as Kairi was fine for eternit-

"Eep! I'm sorry, Sora. Should I come in another time? Or-" Turning his head towards the high pitched voice reluctantly, Sora was almost certain that Chip or Dale had found a new girlfriend to bring in, but fortunately or unfortunately for Sora (depending on how you looked at it), it was instead Kairi accidentally walking in the room with him, while he had his shirt off.

Seeming not to think anything of the situation at all (Kairi _was_ innocent, after all), Sora found that the Princess of Heart was practically dancing around him to get to where she'd left a mark on the mirror. It was only then (when Kairi traversed too close to Sora's naked chest, and he found his breathing getting labored), that he noticed what was even in the girl's hands.

Ahh. They were out of paper towels in here, then? Sora had _wondered _why Kairi hadn't been as diligent about keeping the area clean. Kairi certainly had it in her to fret over everything, so anything not perfected by her was a rare thing, indeed. In fact, Sora remembered fondly the many tongue-lashings she'd given him over the years, and he almost had to wonder if she'd perfected him, too.

And just when things were starting to seem normal and sane again, Sora found himself falling apart for whatever reason. Imagining well how his hair was probably lightening, and his eyes glowing yellow, Sora ended up grabbing onto Kairi much rougher than he ever had before, and began to try and usher her out of the room.

Later, Sora would wonder just how he'd become a Xehanort at all (when Lea had gotten to him in time, it had seemed), but right now his primary concern was getting Kairi well away from him. Especially since Sora—no, Xehanort—knew that if he snuffed out Kairi's Light, there'd be one last Princess to stand and protect from the shadows. Naturally, this repulsed and hurt Sora to no end, and he fought as well as he could, but when Xehanort began blending his and Sora's fantasies together-

"Sora, what are you-"

Grinning crookedly, with jagged teeth and a smile that wasn't his at all, Sora knew exactly what he was planning to do to the stupid girl. As he gripped her leg from where he'd forced her up on the sink, and trailed a finger up her femora artery (something the boy had always wanted), Xehanort knew there was no way Sora'd expect that he was going to drive his Keyblade through that le-

"Kairi. Run now! Jus- just go! Fo-for-ge-et what I said! Tell ever-eryone! Just get away!"

With his hands trembling, as Sora desperately tried to stay in control and _not _grab his Keyblade or a knife- he knew he'd been a fool all along. Of course he couldn't take on Xehanort inside of him! No one had ever managed it unscathed, so why had he thought he could?! As people had pointed out more than enough, Sora was nothing, and he knew it now more than ever. Maybe that was even how Xehanort was so powerful.

Because… because there was even no distinguishing between them anymore! Maybe there never had been. Sora had, and always would be, a puppet of Xehanort's. No matter how hard he tried, there was no escaping that fate.

And it was so terrible for him that their consciousnesses were merging into one. Somehow, when Sora had heard stories of Terra, and heard about Riku's encounter with the Darkness, he'd thought he'd be able to fight his possession more, but that simply wasn't the case, was it? Instead, he was beginning to think like Xehanort—to be Xehanort—even sooner than the others had. And he—he, Sora!—had almost killed Kairi. Sure it had really been Xehanort, but in that moment, Sora couldn't tell the difference between himself and the monster. It had been his name he'd been thinking when he-

"Sora, I can't go anywhere if you don't let go of me." What was this moisture getting on him? Was it her tears? Or even better, her blood? Noting idly—as his mentality began to leave him—that Kairi was still with him, Sora found himself in a strange in-between state of sleep and alertness, possession and freedom, desire and fear. And for the moment, it certainly seemed the desire that had the forefront of his mind. And even that… even that Xehanort had a stake in, and would use again (like when he'd tried to stab Kairi's leg). Kairi…

"You've always been so bad at doing what you're told, Iri. Why are you still here? Why don't you hurt me to get away? Or do you think you're the only one who's gotten hurt in all of these endeavors?"

"Sora, I don't understand. What are you-" Kairi began desperately, as she seemed to recoil back into the mirror. Maybe she was thinking she could open a Corridor of Light there, and just fall through it?

To be honest, Sora wasn't sure what he (or what was left of him, anyway) was doing, either. Where had _those_ words come from? Surely the cruelty of them belonged to Xehanort's tongue alone, and yet-

Somehow they tasted true to Sora's own lips. Sora wanted to believe it was the loss of his free will that was making him furious at Kairi, but he couldn't be sure of that at all. He couldn't really be sure of anything. All he knew was that all the anguish he'd ever felt for leaving and hurting Kairi was returning to him now, and her hurt expressions were flashing in his head like a strobe light.

Ha! As if she'd been the only one hurt by their parting! Sora'd suffered that burden Every. Single. Time. And then some. What did she know about suffering or what he'd been through? And even worse? He'd told her to run and save herself, but she was still sitting with him afraid! As if she hadn't hurt him a thousand times before. Well, he'd just have to show her, wouldn't he? He would show her his pain and so much else, but first… First. HE. _WOULD_. **SAVE**. Her…Her who's love he was all but forgetting.

"You've hurt me before, Kairi. Why don't you do it again, huh?! Do it and escape. Do it _now_! Call me a lazy bum, hit me upside the head! Anything, anything to get away. Do it! Please do it!" As Sora continued to shake Kairi's shoulders like a mad man, begging that she return to control as well as himself, he didn't know what was more horrifying: that each time he pushed her, she got closer to the glass, or that her eyes were so vacant. The tears frozen on her lashes were horrifying, too. And Sora even felt some of his own tears forming, but he wouldn't show them. He had to be strong now. He had to be-

"Don't let me kill you, Kairi. Please don't! Because if I kill you… I kill my Light, too. I thought you were training to get stronger, so please. Please…"

Falling to his knees and accidentally crashing his face into Kairi's knees like a staggering drunkard, Sora had to wonder if everything he'd done—everything he'd ever done—would be in vain now. Even now, when against all odds he'd broken free and had spoken from his heart—_his_ heart, not Xehanort's—Sora still found Kairi being stock-still against him. And even worse, he was even closer to her now. There was no way she'd be able to escape. Not now. Not when he'd become so skilled in the art of killing-

In fact, as Sora imagined rather deliriously that his ears were most likely becoming pointed, too… he almost wondered if it would be that ended up spearing her. After all, against all odds, Sora found he was much too close to her arteries again. He felt Xehanort in his heart again, taking him over, preparing to strike. Preparing to do something.

But it wouldn't be until he felt his fangs lengthen (Sora wasn't even aware he had fangs until then!) that he realized that Xehanort would react by releasing his Anti-Form. And if, amazingly, Sora-Xehanort was too weak to act on harming the beautiful Princess of Heart, Anti-Sora sure wasn't. Anti-Sora only lived for one thing: to kill, create blood, or do both simultaneously.

That's what he'd do now. And as Sora began to be ruled by his instincts, he found he was rather indignant at the red ribbon tied in the girl's hair. Was it a ribbon, or was it blood? Or, maybe… could it be both? Could it have been that all of Kairi's hair was a feast of bloody ribbons? Of course, feast was the wrong word entirely, but to Anti-Sora, it was absolutely right. He would consume and devour this girl in every way. She was his to do with what he plea-

"Sora… do you remember the time your mom made you cut your hair? Well, before that, it could have only been wrong, right? To warrant such a thing, I mean. Back when your hair was so very long, longer than mine even… you taught me how you kept some of your quills in certain formations. You used one of your own strands of hair to tie it back. Do you remember that, Sora? Do you? You loved my 'red, ribbon-y hair', as you put it. But mostly? You liked seeing my hair long and tied back some, because _you'd _shown me how to do it.

"It was that moment, Sora, that I truly realized you loved me. Because only one who loved someone could seem so depressed when I didn't do my hair like that, or so elated when I did. Remember, Sora! Remember and come back to me, love. Don't make me hurt you! Don't!"

For the most part, the words ran through Anti-Sora's one ear and out the other. He couldn't understand such words or concepts. Or, more accurately, he couldn't understand the love, light, and life behind the words. And so it was, that Anti-Form had no problem whatsoever in consuming that very Light forever. Some other voice in his head seemed to be begging for it, even, but there was another voice.

One that was somehow even closer that cut through the haze Sora was in, and transported him to a place that felt of rain, smelled of death, and made his heart beat in regret.

More importantly, though, as Kairi's beautiful crystalline tears fell down her cheeks and onto him, Sora found himself marveling at their beauty. Somehow, they were even more beautiful than her blood. And when that unbelievable thought reached him, and he then tasted the wrongness of it, he was transferred to another time and place altogether. A time and place where Kairi was as beautiful as he'd ever seen her. It was a memory…

…

"You know, Kai. Your hair looks really odd with that strawberry blond added to it. With your complexion and eyes, it almost makes it look like sandpaper. Isn't that lovely? We're going to ruin our school's production even more thoroughly this way!" Looking back on the memory, Sora found there was something off and deranged about his tone even then.

He remembered easily enough what this play was, and why it was happening. At that time and place, Sora hadn't known he was in love with Kairi yet (or more accurately… he'd chosen to ignore it), and as he'd wanted his dear, darling, and delightful best friends together, he'd found he was _enraged _Riku hadn't been cast as Kairi's prince. No, in the end it had been Sora. But even more final than that, Kairi had wanted it to be Riku, so maybe that explained some things. Hell, maybe it even explained everything. Sora didn't feel anything for Kairi at all! And- And that was about as much a lie to Sora looking back, as the sentiment that Dumbo's ears were normal sized.

"Sora... did you know that you're a coward?" As Kairi's words made contact and rebounded in Sora's head, he had no choice in that moment but to see a glimpse of the future. For too long now, he'd been having the strangest thoughts he couldn't control. He was starting to lose his grip on what was reality and what was fantasy. Of course, unbeknownst to him, the things he saw in his mind's eye were much more reality than fantasy. And when the time came that the events actually existed in his timeline, Sora would come to wish he just had the visions over again, because in them was freedom, while in reality... there was nothing. Always nothing.

Sora didn't know any of this, though, so even though Kairi's words brought forth images of failing, and non-disclosure, the boy couldn't get the full gist of it all. Later (much later), when the boy lay dying in the rain, he would wonder if the reason he'd once fought his feelings for Kairi was because he knew the eventual power she'd have over him, and how it would destroy them both-

"Kairi, I don't want you to be marrying Riku in this play. I never wanted that. If you were to be with anyone, I would want you to be free." To be honest, as Sora had watched Kairi ignoring him (and not even hearing the words he now held in his heart), he wondered why he hadn't simply whispered to the winds that he wanted her to be with _him_. The winds—something that had most times been Sora's ally, he knew—wouldn't have betrayed him now. But still... when he'd held Kairi's name and his wish on his tongue, Sora had suddenly been hit with a memory he'd hoped to vanish.

When the red haired girl had first come to the Islands, Sora had originally had a rocky relationship with her. Then, when she'd turned thirteen and Sora had grown a stronger camaraderie with her (something he had been loath to let her know), Kairi had been standing on a bolder amidst the whipping gales from the ocean. Sora had remembered marveling, then, how the waves, wind, and sky co-existed beautifully, after all.

As the sea breeze and Kairi's locks played at each other, Sora'd been forced to admit that he'd never seen more grandeur in his life, than when Kairi's short strands were pulled at, to make them almost seem longer (she would be truly gorgeous with long hair, he knew).

Yes, it had been that moment, when Kairi had seemed to exhibit the freedom and tranquility that Sora had always longed for, that he had known he could no longer ignore or pretend indifferent to the girl Kairi. Whether or not he'd wanted it to be so, Sora realized then that their destinies were forever intertwined, and thus they had finally begun their path to being the best of friends in that moment, but for Sora she became so much more than even that. She really was his other half and the girl he was meant to share a paopu fruit with, but...

With a crooked smile he'd come to almost kill Kairi with in the future (thus painting that it _did_ suit him, and his bittersweet side), Sora had imagined that when they eventually shared the legendary fruit to warrant what they had, that Kairi should let a lot of the juices and magic dribble down her face, so it wouldn't completely work. So she'd have her freedom: something she was always meant to have.

His mind drifting back to their dress rehearsal, Sora watched transfixed, as Kairi took to riding on the toy horse, Spuds, like a real pro. Once again, as her hair whipped around her beautifully and she smiled to the world, Sora knew he didn't have it in him to tell her he wanted to be her prince; that was exactly the problem.

Because, then, as the whole world seemed to clear up before him and make a perfect sort of sense, Sora knew that as long as Kairi had freedom, there was nothing else he needed in his life. There was nothing else he needed in the world.

So knowing full well that Kairi really wanted her co-star to be Riku, Sora left Kairi after dropping a small kiss to her forehead. Then, he went to go and get Riku to star in the Western beside her. Hell, he went to coax Riku into becoming Kairi's everything, because…. there was a reason you could combine the first part of Kairi's name and Riku's and still get her name out of it. And the reason was because Kairi was in love with Riku.

...

**Kairi's Point of View**

_"Sora, you lazy bum. This isn't the way it had to be. Th-this wasn't the way I would have planned it! I-" Crying so much that the red haired girl was certain she was outdoing the raindrops (and who knew? Maybe to that end, her hair was becoming clear. Wouldn't that have been a neat trick for the person she wanted to become ocean spray with, wouldn't it?), Kairi wished the whole thing had gone differently, or maybe even longer. _

_Perfecting the telepathy technique she'd been forced to learn through Roxas, Kairi had somehow connected to Yen Sid when she had wanted and needed his help most, and she knew... she knew that in many different scenarios and timelines, Sora had become possessed by Xehanort. And each time, when it all became too much for him, he'd threatened her, raped her, or killed her. And as wrong as the sentiment was, Kairi almost wished such a thing was true now. Because if he'd done some or any of those things, maybe it would have meant he would have lasted longer. Maybe it would have meant he would have been here now. Her Sora... _

_Why?! Why had she gotten such the short end of the stick?! Why was their time shorter compared to other timelines? Why had Sora been possessed by Xehanort this time? In that end, all she'd gotten- all she'd gotten were a few dark moments with Sora, a few murder attempts from him (with very little emotion behind them, and... "And a time where all your inhibitions were gone, and you spoke truly about me and your own hurt. I know it's something you wish you could take back, or pass off as Xehanort, but I know you, Sora. For so long now I've known you, but it isn't enough. It's not enough at all, and I have to wonder if this is how little I meant to you. Didn't you care about me a little more than this, to be able to fight for me and- _

_Getting off track for a moment, as Kairi noticed the rag she'd been using to clean Sora's blood had turned red, the young girl ridiculously thought that maybe he was getting the chance to take his Mark of Mastery all over again. Sora had told her pink had been prevalent during his exam, so maybe- In the end, she should have known that it was only lighter because of all the rain. She should have known. And maybe it was for that reason she continued speaking hollowly, but continued speaking nonetheless." I know I probably don't deserve such things, but I wish for it all the same. For you see, where you were always uncertain of me, I was always sure of you. Like when we drew each other on the cave walls? I wasn't mocking you with my drawing, Sora. And I lied. I wasn't sleepwalking that time when you said you'd protect me from the meteor. _

"_You know, it's ironic how far apart we can get. The first time we met, when I fell to this world, I came in a meteor shower pulled in by your heart. You found and saved me then, but after that for some reason... for so many wasted years you hated me, and I- I always harbored a caring and longing for you, Sora. Because even in your darkest and silliest 'cootie infested' beliefs, the depth of your true feelings reached me. They reached me, loved me, and I loved them. And the future truly didn't scare me at all. And through that courage, I found freedom. I finally understand everything, Sora. I finally understand."_

_Suddenly and as starling, as when she fell through Sora and gave him her heart that one time, Kairi noted a strange cast of white beginning to fly over Sora's form, and hover there; it was almost like his soul was meaning to return to him from Hades' domain or the like. _

_Trying in vain to brush the idea off (for she no longer believe she had the strength or Light to save anyone), Kairi reminded herself that many bodies in the Realm of Light faded away all together when dying. It had happened to him before, of course (and the memory of Sora's first death instantly made Kairi want to kill herself, as she'd come into the Light from her own dark "death", only to see Sora pay the price for her life). And she knew better than anyone how it could happen again. _

_Once upon a time, Kairi would have looked for a positive in the knowledge that all the Light in their Realm came from her. In fact, she would have hoped foolishly, perhaps, that that gift of hers, whilst wrapping a dead Sora in its embrace, might somehow bring him back. And if not that, maybe she would have thought their shared Light and love would do the trick. _

_Now, though, that she knew herself to be the foolish, weak, coward that she was, and had long since stopped believing in miracles. Maybe bodies being wrapped in Light—her essence, apparently—was more than miracle enough. That was a cool thing, right? And maybe that should suffice, and she shouldn't dare ask for anything else. _

_So why, then, was she against all odds thinking of all she'd done right in her life? She should have been berating herself for all her misgivings! She should have told Yen Sid about what was happening to Sora! She should have been more of an aid to her love, and told him from the start how she felt about him! _

_All of this Kairi knew she should have done and then some. But even so, now she found herself looking back and being happy that she'd helped Sora learn how to bake, that she'd shown Sora the focal point for standing on rocks and feeling the waves on you. That she- that she now knew there was something to Sora's leaving the play other than stage fright. _

_All of these things really weren't that great, and they didn't help the situation at all, and yet- Kairi couldn't help but focus on all of it. Maybe it was because she was Light, and therefore had to focus on some good when the rest of the world was lost to Darkness. Or maybe it was because she'd just gone and lost her mind like Sora had. Who really knew? Maybe it was something else entirely. _

_But when Kairi felt movement against her chest, and she recalled Sora once telling her to take pride in and remember all she had done and could do, she thought she knew and understood everything again. The world was no longer a mighty stranger to her, and the rules of the multiverse sealed themselves in her head again, because she had her __Sora__ back! Her Sora! And Kairi knew they'd never let go of each other or waste time again._

_"I know you've always wanted to grow and get strong, but I find I like our small memories the best. Thanks for remembering them." Once again, Sora's voice was small, and labored but it spoke only of him. He wasn't weak from fighting back Xehanort or hurt through him. In fact, there was no trace of Xehanort in Sora at all, and Kairi had to laugh when she noted Sora was pushing himself up to a sitting position via his big clown shoes. Everything… everything truly would be all right now, wouldn't it?_

_"Thanks for remembering me and getting back here, Sora. Even in death, you made up for the Castle Oblivion thing, even, and held onto me. Thank you, Sora. I love you." And not even noting at the moment how Sora had kissed her forehead before their scheduled play that time, Kairi still did the right thing and kissed Sora's brow as she mouthed her words to him._

_Somehow, they were actually what Sora said, too. And they were even what he'd been thinking and feeling all along. Only now did Kairi realize she'd been dreaming of much the same syllables. Their hearts really were connected through and through, weren't they? "Like the wind and sea, we compliment each other. And we will compliment each other. _Always_." And for the first time in ages—that Kairi could remember, anyway— the sun came out from behind the clouds around her, and she really saw her surroundings and lived and felt and breathed them. She did the same with Sora, and he did the same with her. And she knew they'd both cherish each other. Because they would forever and always be with each other._

"Don't ever forget: wherever you go, I'm always with you."

**Author's Note: OMG. WTF is this? Shanna's getting back into the swing of writing again? What the hell?! And how is this so long?! What is this madness?! I don't even-**

**Also, there are probably a plethora of mistakes here (though I really hope not). But I'm so not editing this long story again, so sorry, guys.**

**In case you're wondering how this was born, well… it's a mix of three things. One, watching WAY too much Pullea Magi Madoka Magica. (Seriously. I got so much inspiration from that; if you guys know the anime, you might pick up on some of it and how Homura-y I made Kairi in this.). Two, wanting to write about Soranort. And three, wanting to write another story with Kairi dealing with Dark!Sora. (why you no have Kairi save Sora from the Darkness, or have him think of her in that scene, in DDD, Square?!) And actually, I also like writing about alternate timelines, so…**

**So, yeah. I hope you all enjoyed some of this madness! It was actually kind of fun! I think my writing break helped a bit, and I'm getting more inspiration again, so…**

**By the way, there are so many freakin' references in this that I don't even remember them all! So kudos to people who find them. I know for sure that one of them is to "Simple and Clean" and another to Kairi's line at the end of KHI (the Japanese version), "Your feelings are reaching me, Sora." As for the others, though…**

**Oh, btw. Sorry if some of the characters seemed a little OOC in this, but it was for the sake of the story. Hopefully I showed you somewhat how they got there, though? **

**And to tell the truth, some of this is inspired by a story idea I had and might do someday: having a telling of Sora and Kairi's early relationship, but having them not like each other for a long while in it, but still fit it to canon. I actually have some ideas for it, and think I could do it (I tried to do it here), but we'll see. But I do like love/hate relationships. And I find people like Sora and Kairi more when they have a dynamic like that, but since it's not very canon, you sort of have to go to AUs for it. I WILL be the person to bridge that gap, though!**

**Anyway, I've ranted enough. Review if some of you are still reading my stuff. Please and thank you.**

**Love you, guys!**

**SoKai ftw!**

**-Shanna**


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